Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Time to say goodbye for now.
It really just seems like this deployment has snuck up and slapped me in the face. I only found out on the 2nd that he was being deployed, but I guess I had just not thought about it much until recently. I know I'm not supposed to say on here exactly when he is leaving, so I guess I will just tell you that it is very soon. I'm starting to basically freak out a little now. I feel like I have not spent anytime with just him. Ever since he got back from Haiti there has either been a motorcycle ride or a family function every weekend. I dont really know what to do. I feel like have to put on that strong face and act like everything is ok so that he wont worry about me. But at the same time I just want to tell him how scared I am.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Creation of a blog.
For the longest time I never thought I would ever have a blog. It just didn't seem like something I would use. Yeah I like my facebook and being able to keep up with friends, but I really just didn't understand writing about whatever you feel that day and putting it out there to be read by anyone on the Internet. But I guess now things have changed. I feel like I need somewhere for me just to talk about me, my feelings and thoughts. I know selfish right?
I guess I should probably say a little something about myself.
I'm Ashley. I grew up in a small country town, and couldn't wait for the day that I could get out and go to college. While off at college I met the man that I feel in love with. We got married in February 2009 and moved back to that same small town. My husband is in the Army, we have been through one small deployment together when he was sent to Haiti.
We decided that we were ready to start our own little family in May of 2009, and we started TTC. It did not take very long at all for me to get pregnant. On August 31, 2009 I took a pregnancy test and it showed the most wonderful word in the world. I was scared and excited all at the same time. I would be expecting my precious baby on May 1, 2010. Everything seemed to be going great until the day that my world came crashing down. I woke up on Tuesday October 6th and had to use the bathroom. I noticed some pink on the TP, I just brushed it off as nothing because I had seen on thebump.com where everyone was talking about spotting being normal, so I just got in the shower to get ready for class. By the time that I got out of the shower I was having a little heavier spotting. I just sat there and prayed that it was not what I thought it was.
I left to go to class and everything seemed to be ok again. I kept going to the bathroom during ever break to check and make sure there was no more blood, and I had almost calmed myself down. But then I had to use the bathroom, and that is when I looked and noticed all of the blood. I left class and went to the ER. They confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I had continued to carry my baby to almost 11 weeks, but (s)he had only made it to 5 and a half weeks. I was beyond devastated. I did nothing but cry for days, until I couldn't cry anymore. I had my precious baby ripped from me.
The doctors told me to wait one cycle and we could get back to TTC, so we did, and yet again we got pregnant right before Christmas. I told all of our family at Christmas. A day later I was in the ER for bleeding. They could not figure out what was going on. My hcg levels were very low but still going up, and no sign of it being ectopic. The Doctors had no idea what was causing it. But then on January 7th 2010 I had my second miscarriage.
I really just did not know what to do now. I felt like a failure, I could not do one of the main things that I was meant to do. All while I was having my 2nd miscarriage my husband was in the Field training for the Army. He was able to come home to comfort me for a few days but then he had to go back out. A week after having the miscarriage we found out that he was going to be deployed to Haiti to help with the earthquake.
While getting ready for him to leave we were not really paying any attention to anything else. TTC had been put on hold. Then we go the biggest surprise ever, I found out I was pregnant again for the 3rd time exactly one week after he was deployed. We were both so very excited. It just seemed like it was meant to be. We got pregnant on accident right before he was supposed to deploy. But yet again only to have another miscarriage on 2/16/10.
I have been diagnosed with Infertility because of habitual abortions. Right now we are finally back to TTC one last time before He leaves for Afghanistan. And time is running out, he is leaving very soon. This has to be the most stressful 2ww ever. However hopefully this time if I get pregnant again we have a plan for keeping this baby alive. I have been diagnosed with a clotting factor, Protein S, I don't know too much about it just yet but I have been put on an aspirin a day, and as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test I'm going on Progesterone, hopefully this will bring us to our forever baby.
So I suppose this is enough information for me to share for the night.
I guess I should probably say a little something about myself.
I'm Ashley. I grew up in a small country town, and couldn't wait for the day that I could get out and go to college. While off at college I met the man that I feel in love with. We got married in February 2009 and moved back to that same small town. My husband is in the Army, we have been through one small deployment together when he was sent to Haiti.
We decided that we were ready to start our own little family in May of 2009, and we started TTC. It did not take very long at all for me to get pregnant. On August 31, 2009 I took a pregnancy test and it showed the most wonderful word in the world. I was scared and excited all at the same time. I would be expecting my precious baby on May 1, 2010. Everything seemed to be going great until the day that my world came crashing down. I woke up on Tuesday October 6th and had to use the bathroom. I noticed some pink on the TP, I just brushed it off as nothing because I had seen on thebump.com where everyone was talking about spotting being normal, so I just got in the shower to get ready for class. By the time that I got out of the shower I was having a little heavier spotting. I just sat there and prayed that it was not what I thought it was.
I left to go to class and everything seemed to be ok again. I kept going to the bathroom during ever break to check and make sure there was no more blood, and I had almost calmed myself down. But then I had to use the bathroom, and that is when I looked and noticed all of the blood. I left class and went to the ER. They confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I had continued to carry my baby to almost 11 weeks, but (s)he had only made it to 5 and a half weeks. I was beyond devastated. I did nothing but cry for days, until I couldn't cry anymore. I had my precious baby ripped from me.
The doctors told me to wait one cycle and we could get back to TTC, so we did, and yet again we got pregnant right before Christmas. I told all of our family at Christmas. A day later I was in the ER for bleeding. They could not figure out what was going on. My hcg levels were very low but still going up, and no sign of it being ectopic. The Doctors had no idea what was causing it. But then on January 7th 2010 I had my second miscarriage.
I really just did not know what to do now. I felt like a failure, I could not do one of the main things that I was meant to do. All while I was having my 2nd miscarriage my husband was in the Field training for the Army. He was able to come home to comfort me for a few days but then he had to go back out. A week after having the miscarriage we found out that he was going to be deployed to Haiti to help with the earthquake.
While getting ready for him to leave we were not really paying any attention to anything else. TTC had been put on hold. Then we go the biggest surprise ever, I found out I was pregnant again for the 3rd time exactly one week after he was deployed. We were both so very excited. It just seemed like it was meant to be. We got pregnant on accident right before he was supposed to deploy. But yet again only to have another miscarriage on 2/16/10.
I have been diagnosed with Infertility because of habitual abortions. Right now we are finally back to TTC one last time before He leaves for Afghanistan. And time is running out, he is leaving very soon. This has to be the most stressful 2ww ever. However hopefully this time if I get pregnant again we have a plan for keeping this baby alive. I have been diagnosed with a clotting factor, Protein S, I don't know too much about it just yet but I have been put on an aspirin a day, and as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test I'm going on Progesterone, hopefully this will bring us to our forever baby.
So I suppose this is enough information for me to share for the night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)